Disney World Is Getting a Lot of New Stuff (Eventually)
Look forward to it, millionaires
Hi, I’m Quence (Also known as Jonathan). I’m going to try once again to write newsletter posts more frequently instead of not doing that. In order to give this plan a better chance of success I’m trying something new. I call it “writing without thinking or editing”. Now, please enjoy an adult man’s opinions on theme parks for children.
Disney held its annual D23 presentation this past weekend. This isn’t a show that I normally pay much attention to, at least not in the same way I keep an ear out for Comic-Con news, or the way I used to keep an ear out for E3 news (R.I.P.). Most of the announcements are about Disney’s expansive slate of film sequels, and while I’m certainly interested in a few of them (Avatar: Fire and Ash! Incredibles 3!), most seem like foregone conclusions, and there aren’t usually too many megaton surprises.
One of the big focuses of this year’s event however, was Disney’s theme parks. They announced several new rides, attractions, and expansions for their parks, mainly for Walt Disney World in Orlando. I don’t get to go out to Disney parks too often on account of how distant and expensive they are, but I still like to follow the updates online. Disney World is sadly, one of my favorite places that I’ve ever been to, but in recent years rival park Universal Studios has been really upping their game while Disney is starting to fall behind a bit. Will these new developments help even the playing field? Here are my brief thoughts on this year’s Disney World D23 announcements:
Villains Land
Magic Kingdom is slated to receive a big new area highlighting the villains from all across Disney’s movies. This is a concept that online Disney nerds have been wanting for a long time now. Although some were hoping for an entirely new gate with nothin’ but villains, this will just be an expansion inside of the existing Magic Kingdom.
Potentially, this could be a chance for Disney to put more thrill-seeking rides for adults and very brave teenagers into the park. That’s a nice idea, but personally the villains theme isn’t something that particularly excites me. I’m happy to be proven wrong though, and I’m definitely curious what the two (count ‘em, two) new attractions will be in that area. Presumably at least one will include multiple prominent Disney villains, and maybe the other will be all about one in particular - Scar? Maleficent? Jafar? The hunter from Bambi?
More importantly, I expect to see copious promotions for the Disney Villainous board game on display in every gift shop in the area.
Monsters, Inc. Land
An entire Monsters, Inc. themed land is coming to Hollywood Studios. This is definitely more up my alley than villains. Monsters, Inc. is one of my favorite Pixar movies from the golden years, and up till now its only representation in Florida is a cheesy comedy show, which is fine, but not great. Tokyo Disney gets a way cooler dark ride where you get to use a flashlight to look for monsters, and it sounds like this new ride has the potential to outdo that one.
The stated plan is to make a suspended roller coaster based on the movie’s climactic door sequence, which sees the monsters leaping from magic door to magic door. It’s a fantastic concept, and should be a marquee attraction in Hollywood Studios, which desperately needs more of those.
That said, does this really constitute an entire “land”? At best, I’m guessing there will be one small restaurant and gift shop next to the ride, but maybe they’re planning more. Perhaps there will be a super immersive walk-through Monsters, Inc. headquarters building or something. Or maybe the use of the term “land” is just a marketing thing. Either way, I’m excited to see this one come together (as long as it isn’t replacing MuppetVision 3D, which some have speculated it might, in which case I would spiral into a deep, deep depression from which I might never return).
Indiana Jones, Encanto & Zootopia
This is a big one. Actually, it’s three big ones, and they’re all coming to Animal Kingdom. Animal Kingdom has long been a half-day park for many visitors. Outside of Pandora, the safari, and Expedition Everest, there isn’t a whole lot to do there, other than walk around and soak in the atmosphere. That might be changing with the addition of brand new Indiana Jones and Encanto rides, plus Zootopia replacing the A Bug’s Life 3D show in the big tree.
I’m all for the Zootopia replacement. I didn’t even do Bug’s Life the last couple times I hit Disney World - it’s one of Pixar’s weaker movies, and that attraction is definitely starting to show its age after existing for so long. Zootopia will be a welcome upgrade.
I also am begrudgingly looking forward to Indy and Encanto, which will be replacing the stupidly named “Dino-Land USA” area. There are really only two things here, a section with small rides for tiny babies, and a horrifying nightmare ride for very brave big boys. The baby section can go go go, but the Dinosaur ride proper was one of my favorites in the park. It’s one of the only truly scary rides left, and also, PLUS, there are dinosaurs on it. A sad loss, indeed.
Still, it’ll be nice to finally get some more Indiana Jones presence in Florida. Supposedly the ride’s storyline will have something to do with mythical beasts (?), so maybe they’ll throw a dinosaur in there too. Supposedly it will also NOT just be a carbon copy of the ride in Disneyland, even though that would be an easy job since the Dinosaur ride uses the exact same track layout. We’ll see what happens!
Encanto has a lot of potential too, and I think a ride through the Madrigal house will be something really special.
Cars
Yes, the beloved “Cars” from Pixar’s very own Cars are DRIVING their way into the MAGIC KINGDOM in the next few years. Everybody loves the Cars area at Disneyland California, and Cars is stupid popular with kids, so it makes sense that this is on the way. Some people are upset because this is seemingly taking the place of the Tom Sawyer riverboat area, which is kind of a shame, but I can’t say I’m heartbroken over it. I also really don’t care about Cars, but it’s kind of a layup as far as ride themes go, so I’ll keep an open mind.
Millennium Falcon: Smugglers Run - The Mandalorian & Grogu
Disney is finally making good on the promise of the Millennium Falcon ride being able to alternate missions. Since launch it’s been all about helping BELOVED fan favorite “Hondo Ohnaka” find some, uh, power cables or something? I forget.
Anyway, it’s not that exciting a mission, and since so much of the ride is digital, it seems like a no-brainer to swap it out every once in a while for a different (and hopefully better) storyline. I haven’t been in love with the latest season of the Mandalorian, but I still have a fondness for the character and of course the titular Child/Baby Yoda/Grogu.
It’d be nice if tweaks were made to the ride mechanics themselves that made this mission a little more engaging for non-pilots, but I won’t hold my breath on that front. I also wonder if this will completely replace the current mission, or if it will rotate in and out on a schedule, or if they’ll somehow keep both open simultaneously. Maybe it’ll be like Star Tours, where you don’t know exactly which version of the ride you’ll get when you go on. Since Smugglers Run has a convenient ‘single rider’ line, I personally wouldn’t mind having to do it a few times to experience everything.
Pirates of the Caribbean Tavern & Spaceship Earth Lounge
Hey, it’s new places to eat! And drink! A Pirates themed tavern sounds like a perfect thematic fit, and will hopefully lessen the sting of Disney World not having the Blue Bayou restaurant. I’m curious exactly how “taverny” it’s going to be - will it be like Oga’s Cantina where you can pop in for a couple drinks, or is it going to be more of an actual restaurant? Will there be pirate performers putting on a show? I really just want to live out my dream of hanging out in the Scumm Bar from The Secret of Monkey Island.
The Spaceship Earth lounge looks MUCH less exciting from the concept art, but I do like the idea of having a place like that to spruce up the ol’ giant golf ball a bit (now please spruce up the ride itself too).
The Lion King at Disneyland Paris
This is the only non-Disney World announcement I wanted to talk about here, mostly because… it isn’t fair. For years I’ve struggled to understand how one of the most iconic and beloved (and best) animated Disney films has so little presence in the parks. Other than a live show in Animal Kingdom, there’s really nothing for The Lion King. It deserves a kick-ass Pride Rock dark ride, and it looks like Paris is finally giving it one, complete with a log flume and everything.
I’d kill to get this in America, but maybe it’ll get copied over eventually if it’s successful, like the Ratatouille ride did. Then again, everyone always rags on Disneyland Paris, so I guess it’s nice that they’re getting something compelling.
And it’s not just the one ride, it’s an entire area! So, you know… probably also a gift shop and restaurant too. Wow!!
My biggest concern is that the concept art depicts the characters in their horrendous “live-action” CGI incarnations. If that’s the version of the characters they’re using for this land, then never mind, they can keep it the hell away from me.
There were a handful of other cool announcements from the show (New Coco ride and Avatar stuff for Disneyland), but these are the biggest Disney World focused ones, and the ones I’m most excited about. My only problem now is how far away they all are. Most of these things won’t be ready until 2026 or 2027. Am I even going to be ALIVE by then? I will start saving up my pennies now.
By the by, last year, I was able to go to Tokyo Disney (the one that’s in Tokyo), and I’m FINALLY getting around to putting together a YouTube video covering my experiences there. Look forward to this soon, or possibly later if I don’t work on it like I said I would! Bye!!!